I am a positive trainer I would never even consider hitting a dog unless it was life or death. Yet yesterday I found myself saying the words; " If you try to hurt my dog again, I will hit you with this stock stick and we'll see how much it hurts". I was never more serious in my life, and the person understood that it was not an empty threat. Thankfully, I did not have to hit him. He did confess however at one point he thought I might. See, positive training does work! I was positive I would follow through and so was he!
I took Phalen to a herding camp with a fairly famous trainer that totally misrepresents himself. He claims that he works from a relationship model with your dog and does "quiet herding". He clearly comes from some pretty dysfunctional relationships if what I saw yesterday is what he believes is healthy. He herds by intimidation and fear. I understand completely that if a dog is going to kill a sheep you have to protect the sheep at all costs, I agree with that. The rest is just horse crap! I saw so many appalling things yesterday that it would take pages to describe. Shock collars for getting downs, scaring a young Belgian Shepherd until he actually shut down and was cowering in the corner and everyone intimidating their dogs. I asked Cappy about the dog's body language showing fear and he said "just ignore it". I can't believe he gets money for this and I'm more shocked that people go along with it!
I go to many seminars and I am always amazed to see people agree with anything the presenter says. They are sheep being led to the slaughter and go willingly. Are you freaking kidding me? I swear, unless Christ himself is presenting, I am going to question. I felt like I was wearing a scarlet letter yesterday, but I didn't care. It is my job to protect my dogs at all costs and I don't take that lightly. I set very clear boundaries, challenged his belief system, and for the most part, he respected my wishes. We had a couple of tense moments, but I was so clear with my boundaries, that they never got crossed except once when I physically stepped between he and my dog. I was polite, which he was not always, but he is responsible for his behavior and I mine. I found myself saying over and over yesterday; "He is my dog and I will do what I know is right, you have to make the same decision for your own dog". They all looked at me like I was from mars.
Phalen did a beautiful job yesterday. He was in fact more controlled than dogs that have been herding much longer. He didn't bark at any dogs while on lead, and was even able to lay calmly next to me and watch other dogs herd the sheep. I will not be taking Cappy's advice and 'beating my dog in the head with a rubber mallet every morning", yes, you read it correctly, that was actually what he said. I will instead continuing our work on fundamentals, and helping him to be the great dog that I know he is. We will take all of the time he needs, it is a joy to work with him and we have nothing but time. He is MY dog and no one will ever hurt him.
Yesterday had all the earmarks of a complete disaster, but I feel pretty damn good about it. I protected Phalen at all costs, did not cave to the enormous peer pressure, and hopefully made some people think. Even if they think I am crazy, when I see them at a herding trial and Phalen and I kick their ass, they will know exactly why. I came away empowered, more committed to what I know in my heart to be right, and flush with the knowledge that my dog is awesome and works with me because he wants to, not because he is scared I will hurt him if he doesn't. Cappy actually told me that herding can't be taught positively, oh nothing like a challenge. I informed him that not only will I do it, but I will send video of it to him. Never tell me I can't do something, it only assures that I will. VIVA LA POSITIVE TRAINING!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Mother Curse
I realized yesterday that I have the mother's curse. My dog is jut like me! Oh heaven help me! I rail against my crazy adolescent that seems to struggle with self control. I used to cry when I had to take Sheena to class, because she was "so crazy". The whole time, unaware that I was actually railing against the knowledge that they are just like me. Ron has pointed this fact out several times over the years, however I ignored any implications that we were similar. He is a man and of course he could not have an insight to anything so deep. I hate the taste of crow......
The whole time I was in school I got great grades, but always had that little box on my report card checked that said "Does not practice self control" - translation...I talk too much. I never really got in trouble, notes were occasionally sent home but I managed to never once take a trip to the principals office. I'm pretty sure Sheena and Phalen would have similar experiences, well except that Phalen would get in trouble for fighting. My actions drove my parents, especially my dad insane! If he were here, he would be laughing in my face and enjoying every minute of this! I do miss him so much!
My Sheena, the sweetest dog that God ever created is a total wild child. I see in her my wanderlust and the need for life to be a party. She is a good worker, but is sure that she knows a better way to do things and will always add her own special twist to whatever you ask her to do. As she has aged she has calmed a bit, but is ready at the drop of a hat to be her former party girl self. Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar.
This realization has given me a whole new appreciation for Phalen. I have deeper empathy for how he feels, and what is going on in that head of his. So smart, able to do anything I ask, but struggles with the self control. I think my struggle with Phalen has been harder in many ways than with Sheena because of the violence. I still don't claim to understand that part, but I do understand the impulse control and how hard he tries to please me. I understand the look in his eyes that says, "Mom I am trying so hard but I just gotta do it". And I understand the look when he disappoints me and feels remorse. I know that feeling first hand, and how you would give anything to make it right, that is until the next time you can't stop yourself.
I'll going to take the mom curse and celebrate it. I am going to be thankful that my dogs love life enough to view it as a party. I am for once going to be the anchor that helps keep them grounded, but not an anchor around their necks. I want them to party, to celebrate life, to explore,heck most of the time I join in! However, I will be there to help direct them and to pick them up when they 'don't exercise self control". And Ron will be there for all of us, holding on for dear life so that we don't float away and rolling his eyes. I just realized that I need to thank him, for unlike my parents, he has 3 of us in the house. Maybe the curse is not on me but on Ron......
The whole time I was in school I got great grades, but always had that little box on my report card checked that said "Does not practice self control" - translation...I talk too much. I never really got in trouble, notes were occasionally sent home but I managed to never once take a trip to the principals office. I'm pretty sure Sheena and Phalen would have similar experiences, well except that Phalen would get in trouble for fighting. My actions drove my parents, especially my dad insane! If he were here, he would be laughing in my face and enjoying every minute of this! I do miss him so much!
My Sheena, the sweetest dog that God ever created is a total wild child. I see in her my wanderlust and the need for life to be a party. She is a good worker, but is sure that she knows a better way to do things and will always add her own special twist to whatever you ask her to do. As she has aged she has calmed a bit, but is ready at the drop of a hat to be her former party girl self. Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar.
This realization has given me a whole new appreciation for Phalen. I have deeper empathy for how he feels, and what is going on in that head of his. So smart, able to do anything I ask, but struggles with the self control. I think my struggle with Phalen has been harder in many ways than with Sheena because of the violence. I still don't claim to understand that part, but I do understand the impulse control and how hard he tries to please me. I understand the look in his eyes that says, "Mom I am trying so hard but I just gotta do it". And I understand the look when he disappoints me and feels remorse. I know that feeling first hand, and how you would give anything to make it right, that is until the next time you can't stop yourself.
I'll going to take the mom curse and celebrate it. I am going to be thankful that my dogs love life enough to view it as a party. I am for once going to be the anchor that helps keep them grounded, but not an anchor around their necks. I want them to party, to celebrate life, to explore,heck most of the time I join in! However, I will be there to help direct them and to pick them up when they 'don't exercise self control". And Ron will be there for all of us, holding on for dear life so that we don't float away and rolling his eyes. I just realized that I need to thank him, for unlike my parents, he has 3 of us in the house. Maybe the curse is not on me but on Ron......
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Husbands Are Harder to Train Than Dogs
Give me a crazy, or frightened dog any day! I would much rather work with them than try to train a husband. There is something about the opposable thumbs on the husbands that makes them think they know everything. I have them too, but I don't know everything! Maybe I am blaming the wrong body part! Whatever it is, they are very difficult to train. I have tried modeling behavior, explaining behavior, reinforcing for the behavior that I like and yet the retention of the skills seems to be lacking. Let me rephrase that, he knows what to do, he chooses not to do it.
My hubby is great with the dogs most of the time, but recently, he has begun slipping into laziness. Yelling seems to be his first instinct. Really yelling? We are not a yelling family! He would never even think about yelling at me, of course, he has learned that it really does not achieve the desired results. I come from a family of yellers, which is why I don't. If I feel the need to raise my voice, everyone better run for cover. It's what makes it so effective. I can count on one hand the number of times per year that I have to raise my voice on a school bus full of middle school students. I prefer to ask nicely, reward the behavior that I like and have very clear boundaries I train and live my life the same way.
Ron comes from a very passionate Polish family. They all yell all the time and they don't even know it. I'm sure he doesn't realize he is doing it, because he looks so confused when I confront him. He looks at me like I am from mars and that I am deranged. I calmly explain that he is indeed screeching at the dogs and that none of us appreciate it. He is baffled. I again explain our way of training and remind him of our principles as intelligent,evolved, sane, human beings. If he still doesn't get it, I am sometimes forced to use the ultimate weapon. Tears. There I said it, I am not ashamed. The tears get his attention and he again returns to the sane loving man that I married.
He may need a behavior plan, or medication, or maybe he just needs a time out. Maybe I should send him to a workshop, a little Suzanne to straighten him out. Or maybe, I will remember that dog training is not his chosen profession, cut him a little slack and be thankful that he loves me and the dogs. I think I like the last plan best but maybe I will lace it with a few chocolate chip cookies or kisses to as a reward for behavior I like.
My hubby is great with the dogs most of the time, but recently, he has begun slipping into laziness. Yelling seems to be his first instinct. Really yelling? We are not a yelling family! He would never even think about yelling at me, of course, he has learned that it really does not achieve the desired results. I come from a family of yellers, which is why I don't. If I feel the need to raise my voice, everyone better run for cover. It's what makes it so effective. I can count on one hand the number of times per year that I have to raise my voice on a school bus full of middle school students. I prefer to ask nicely, reward the behavior that I like and have very clear boundaries I train and live my life the same way.
Ron comes from a very passionate Polish family. They all yell all the time and they don't even know it. I'm sure he doesn't realize he is doing it, because he looks so confused when I confront him. He looks at me like I am from mars and that I am deranged. I calmly explain that he is indeed screeching at the dogs and that none of us appreciate it. He is baffled. I again explain our way of training and remind him of our principles as intelligent,evolved, sane, human beings. If he still doesn't get it, I am sometimes forced to use the ultimate weapon. Tears. There I said it, I am not ashamed. The tears get his attention and he again returns to the sane loving man that I married.
He may need a behavior plan, or medication, or maybe he just needs a time out. Maybe I should send him to a workshop, a little Suzanne to straighten him out. Or maybe, I will remember that dog training is not his chosen profession, cut him a little slack and be thankful that he loves me and the dogs. I think I like the last plan best but maybe I will lace it with a few chocolate chip cookies or kisses to as a reward for behavior I like.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Consequences
I am the queen of making bad decisions. I generally have to learn things the hard way and I have had many regrets over the years. Why then am I surprised that Phalen is so much like me? He rushes in head first, not thinking it through and then has to live with the consequences.
He decided that Abby 2 was too much and attacked her. I broke up the fight and now they are separated This morning he is next to me whining and looking out the window at the Abbys playing in the back yard. I see the regret and confusion on his face, The desire to go and play with the girls and the knowledge that I will not let him. He pleads with me, looks at me imploringly, but none of it works. I just sit and cry and try to explain to him that I can't trust him. I can't risk that he will hurt this beautiful puppy both emotionally and physically. My heart breaks a little more with each whine, and when I speak the words "I can't trust you" it almost crushes me.
This is my sweet boy who gives kisses and snuggles all of his 96 lbs.on my lap. My baby who actually has beautiful play skills, and I raised to love other dogs. This is the boy who spent so much time yesterday licking my bandage where he bit my leg while I was pulling him off the puppy. Such soft sweet licks, and with each lick I felt the regret and sorrow. The boy who follows me with love in his eyes and who will do anything I ask...except like other dogs.
This is a strange journey that we are on. I know that there is much to learn and the lessons are important, but today I just want it to be easy. That's not going to happen, things are ever seldom easy for me. Instead, I am going to concentrate on whatever positives I can pull from this, look at what I can learn and cry a few well deserved tears.
He decided that Abby 2 was too much and attacked her. I broke up the fight and now they are separated This morning he is next to me whining and looking out the window at the Abbys playing in the back yard. I see the regret and confusion on his face, The desire to go and play with the girls and the knowledge that I will not let him. He pleads with me, looks at me imploringly, but none of it works. I just sit and cry and try to explain to him that I can't trust him. I can't risk that he will hurt this beautiful puppy both emotionally and physically. My heart breaks a little more with each whine, and when I speak the words "I can't trust you" it almost crushes me.
This is my sweet boy who gives kisses and snuggles all of his 96 lbs.on my lap. My baby who actually has beautiful play skills, and I raised to love other dogs. This is the boy who spent so much time yesterday licking my bandage where he bit my leg while I was pulling him off the puppy. Such soft sweet licks, and with each lick I felt the regret and sorrow. The boy who follows me with love in his eyes and who will do anything I ask...except like other dogs.
This is a strange journey that we are on. I know that there is much to learn and the lessons are important, but today I just want it to be easy. That's not going to happen, things are ever seldom easy for me. Instead, I am going to concentrate on whatever positives I can pull from this, look at what I can learn and cry a few well deserved tears.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Puppy's Are Good For The Soul
We have a beautiful new 5 month old foster, Abby. She is feminine, smart, active and all puppy! To see her explore her world is like manna to my hungry soul. There is something about a puppy that reminds me of why I do what I do and why I love dogs so much. The promise of a better life for them, the experiences that you will share and the look on their face when they have a light bulb moment is priceless. This little angel is no exception. Exceptionally smart, eager to please and a total maniac! Ripping through the house mach 2 with her hair on fire, jumping on me, and biting at my hands and the whole time smiling, and reminding me how good life can be.
Phalen of course hates her and I have a new bite on my leg from breaking up a fight. Even that can't dim the glow that emanates from having a puppy in the house. The constant reinforcement of what I want her to do and what she has done right, feeds me and excites me. She reminds me of how far my own dogs have come, even Phalen. She is my promise of a better tomorrow and I cling to her energy and her light.
My favorite class to teach is puppy class, I have become a puppy addict, I can never get enough of them. We will only have this little darling for a week and it is probably a good thing given the situation with Phalen, but I am going to enjoy every second with her. Thanks for joining us even briefly Abby, our lives will be better for having you in it!
Phalen of course hates her and I have a new bite on my leg from breaking up a fight. Even that can't dim the glow that emanates from having a puppy in the house. The constant reinforcement of what I want her to do and what she has done right, feeds me and excites me. She reminds me of how far my own dogs have come, even Phalen. She is my promise of a better tomorrow and I cling to her energy and her light.
My favorite class to teach is puppy class, I have become a puppy addict, I can never get enough of them. We will only have this little darling for a week and it is probably a good thing given the situation with Phalen, but I am going to enjoy every second with her. Thanks for joining us even briefly Abby, our lives will be better for having you in it!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Quiet time
I love that part of the evening when all the dogs of their own volition go and lay down. Not because I am lazy or that I don't want to spend time with them, but because it means that they are content. They understand that there is a time to rest their bodies and just "be". Phalen is curled up at my feet with his ball between his feet, Abby is crashed on my bed, Sheena is lying on my other side, taking deep peaceful breaths. Riley is laying next to his dad, Wolf and Foxy are on their beds and everything is quiet. I can hear and distinguish each dogs breathing, and with each breath I relax more.
I know it is tentative at best, I live with 6 Shepherds. They will be ready to go if I ask or if I move. It is hard wired into their DNA, the need to follow and be a part of everything I do. I love that about them, and wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Well that last statement is not exactly true, sometimes, I have to pee, but know that the second I get up 6 Shepherds will jump to attention. Sometimes, it's better just to wait!
They are aware my every move and the slightest shift in weight will open their eyes. They look up to see what I am up to, and assessing that no food or activity is involved they close their eyes once more and return to rest. It often reminds me of Jonestown, bodies sprawled and strewn over our little house and I giggle at the sight. Never did I imagine that it would be filled with so many dogs or so much love.
I know it is tentative at best, I live with 6 Shepherds. They will be ready to go if I ask or if I move. It is hard wired into their DNA, the need to follow and be a part of everything I do. I love that about them, and wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Well that last statement is not exactly true, sometimes, I have to pee, but know that the second I get up 6 Shepherds will jump to attention. Sometimes, it's better just to wait!
They are aware my every move and the slightest shift in weight will open their eyes. They look up to see what I am up to, and assessing that no food or activity is involved they close their eyes once more and return to rest. It often reminds me of Jonestown, bodies sprawled and strewn over our little house and I giggle at the sight. Never did I imagine that it would be filled with so many dogs or so much love.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Waiting for Results
I am a rescue person, even as a child, I dragged home every animal that came across my path and tried to convince my mom that it did not have a family and we had a responsibility to care for it. The number of legs never mattered and back when I was brave, the lack of legs didn't matter either. Getting a show dog has been a very different experience for me. Lately, it seems as if having a show dog just means waiting around for test results.
Phalen is finally 2 and that means he is eligible for breeding, He is just a baby, he can't be breeding! I have been very strong in protecting him form anyone even thinking about an early breeding. I have insisted on every test I could find and/or afford. It is such a huge responsibility and I have to be sure that I am doing everything in my power to only improve the breed. No iffy breedings will ever happen with my boy. Everyone will probably hate me, but I really don't care. If they think I am a pain in the ass now, just wait until I breed him for MY puppy!
We have the results for his OFA heart, CERF, DNA, MDR-1 and DM. We are have been witing for OFA results. Just looking at the alphabet soup listed makes my eyes cross. Ron called this morning and the results from OFA are here....NORMAL ELBOWS AND GOOD HIPS!!!! Whew, what a relief. To know that my baby has good hips and elbows and will indeed better the breed is what I wanted to hear. Good for Phalen and even better for the breed.
I think we are done waiting for results for awhile. I still want to do his food sensitivity test and a EPI profile, but then I think we are done. We now move on to screening potential mates and then waiting for puppies. This will be the worst, I won't be satisfied with just cute little puppies, I want to track them and see how they grow into adulthood. Forget what I said about the waiting being done.....it is just beginning.
Did I mention I am really bad at waiting?
Phalen is finally 2 and that means he is eligible for breeding, He is just a baby, he can't be breeding! I have been very strong in protecting him form anyone even thinking about an early breeding. I have insisted on every test I could find and/or afford. It is such a huge responsibility and I have to be sure that I am doing everything in my power to only improve the breed. No iffy breedings will ever happen with my boy. Everyone will probably hate me, but I really don't care. If they think I am a pain in the ass now, just wait until I breed him for MY puppy!
We have the results for his OFA heart, CERF, DNA, MDR-1 and DM. We are have been witing for OFA results. Just looking at the alphabet soup listed makes my eyes cross. Ron called this morning and the results from OFA are here....NORMAL ELBOWS AND GOOD HIPS!!!! Whew, what a relief. To know that my baby has good hips and elbows and will indeed better the breed is what I wanted to hear. Good for Phalen and even better for the breed.
I think we are done waiting for results for awhile. I still want to do his food sensitivity test and a EPI profile, but then I think we are done. We now move on to screening potential mates and then waiting for puppies. This will be the worst, I won't be satisfied with just cute little puppies, I want to track them and see how they grow into adulthood. Forget what I said about the waiting being done.....it is just beginning.
Did I mention I am really bad at waiting?
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