Ugh! I was all set to post about how much I did not want to go back to the real world of not training full time and then I saw the most infuriating comment on FB! A friend of mine who is struggling with her adolescent Shepherd boy put up an amazing post about her plan to help him at agility class. She was going to totally take the pressure off of him and just click and treat for calm behavior if that is what he told her he needed. A brilliant plan and good for her and for her dog! Her breeder commented that if she would stop annoying him with the clicker he would stop acting out. And then of course to not seem like a total ass, she ended the post with a smiley face. Yes, a smiley face after a rude, hurtful comment always makes it better.
Lest anyone think I am anti-breeder, nothing could be farther from the truth! I love Phalen's breeder, many of my closest friends are breeders and have I always supported good, responsible breeding. Phalen will in fact be bred, so I am careful to cast any stones. Not all breeders are created equal, which stands to reason, after all, they are human. It is a huge responsibility bringing lives into this world. Families trust that you are breeding good dogs and that you will stand behind them and with them while they grow and mature. For the record, I feel the same about fostering. Families trust that we have told them the truth and that we will be there to support them. To not take responsibility, to not listen, to be so prideful that you can't see the dog for who he is is just shameful!
Dogs are fluid, they change as they should based on environment and also based on their genetics. Do I think the perfect dog exists, heck no! It would be so boring! So then why on earth would anyone think that just because they bred a dog it is perfect? Grr, I get more angry by the second! Not only is this person so insecure that they can't admit that the dog is having issues, but then she attacks the very methods that have helped the dog to achieve any kind of balance. What infuriates me the most is she knows how much work my friend has done and she went for the kill shot...thankfully my friend is strong and refuses to cave to her breeders archaic ideas.
Those of us of a certain age, came from compulsion based training. We had no other choices. I started there and quite honestly I was horrible at it. I never had the heart to give a proper correction and as a result ended up doing more damage to my dog. As soon as I was introduced to positive training the clouds opened up and the sun appeared. It made sense to me, the cooperative work, the respect on both ends of the leash, it was what I had been looking for. In the many years that positive training has been around, the studies back up the method. There is no longer the excuse that it doesn't work, the proof is there in study after study, and in happy, successful dogs and owners.
When Phalen was having so many problems, my breeder was skeptical of the methods I chose. When I broke up the dog fight and ended up with 12 staples in my head, I called her on the way to the hospital. She took Phalen for me for a couple of weeks. In that time, we had to some serious "come to Jesus" moments about his future and the methods we were going to use. I remember her saying to me that I needed to be firmer with him and a better leader. I laughed, I live with at least 6 dogs at all times and have had over 80 fosters. You can't do that and stay safe and sane if you are not a good leader. She had mistaken my kindness for weakness, as so often happens with people who are not familiar with positive training. My breeder is kind both to people and animals. I have great respect for her and while her methods are different, I trust completely that would never intentionally hurt a dog, that is why I trusted her to keep Phalen for me while we worked out a plan for him. It has been lovely to see her embrace new ideas and techniques and Phalen's progress has spoken for itself. She has been there and supported Phalen and I even when she didn't necessarily understand or agree with what I was doing. I so want that experience for my friend.
I don't think my friend's breeder is a horrible person. I just think she is at a place where learning has stopped and she is not open to embracing new ideas. It actually makes me sad for her. I never what to stop learning, experimenting, stretching to reach new heights, and feeling the indescribable joy that washes over you when you see the results. My dogs, my clients and I deserve no less!
My friend is amazing and she and her boy will get through this and come out stronger for the journey. Maybe my friend is the one who will show her breeder a better way and help this person get to a place where she can again embrace new ideas. Maybe thanks to all of her hard work, she will make the lives of many dogs better just simply by being an example. Knowing my friend, I would say the that's a given.
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