Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Kryptonite

My dogs have discovered my kryptonite.  I feel my powers weakening by the second.  They use it to weaken me and steal my powers and my heart.  Oh it's hard to thwart their evil plans in this weakened state!  They keep it with them at all times, pulling it out when the time is right.  If you own a Shepherd of any kind, you already know what it is.  It is the deadly head tilt. It gets me every time and I become a bowl of jelly that will allow them to do anything.

Phalen is the master at this.  He tilts that head anytime he thinks he is in trouble or if he wants me to continue to play ball with him when I have said we are done. He is an evil villain that can totally manipulate me into submission.  I try to turn my head, but apparently there is a freeze ray involved as well and I can't turn away.  I am frozen in place, fighting with everything I have to not succumb to the effects, but I am powerless.  I start laughing, my heart gets all mushy and have to give in. 

I can see the headline now...."Trainer found dead after dogs cute her to death"....how embarrassing!








Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Spider

When I pulled out of work today there was a spider on my windshield.  Just a little black spider.  I actually like spiders.  My mom bought me a book when I was little titled; Be Nice To Spiders.  If you have not read it, I recommend it.  It is about a little boys pet spider, Helen, and how she saves the zoo from being overrun by flies. It made a huge impact on me and I am generally nice to spiders.  I do confess that I don't allow them to shower with me (it's actually humane, I am afraid they will be traumatized by my naked body), and big scary spiders freak me out.  I try not to hurt them unless I feel threatened.

I digress, back to the spider on my windshield.  I was fascinated by him.  I watched as he held on against the force of the wind coming at him.  First through town, then local highway and finally the expressway.  He hung on, never moving, except for one leg in the air.  It reminded me of sticking my hand out of the sunroof on a beautiful day to feel the wind against my hand.  I found myself wondering what he was thinking, feeling and what it must be like to be him at that moment.  I wondered if it was exhilarating, or frightening.  Did he have a family and how would he adjust after I took him 25 miles from his home area.  I marveled at the randomness of life and how something as innocent as taking a break on my windshield  would forever alter his life.  I found myself cheering for him to hold on, frightened for him that at any moment the force would blow him off and he would die.

I stopped to get a gallon of milk and when I came out he was gone.  I'll never know what happened to him, but I wished his spirit well and asked the universe to care for him.  It made me think of the recent hurricane victims, no more in control of what was happening than this spider.  Or the times in my life where I was baffled by life's randomness good or bad and how it would play out.  I was touched today by this little spider, by his courage, his perseverance.  I'm also thankful that I noticed him and that God gave me a heart to wonder at the beauty of a spider.










Suzanne Clothier is Runing My LIfe

I was at a dog show this weekend and I must have cussed Suzanne at least 50 times!  Damn that woman for opening my eyes and taking away my blissful ignorance.  Maybe blissful ignorance is not the right term maybe it was more like I could be unaware and get away with it.  But now thanks to Suzanne's elemental questions, I can't!  I constantly ask Phalen "How is this for you" and once I ask, I have to honor him and his answer. "Oh bother", as Pooh would say!

Dog shows should be about you and your dog.  A special time with just the two of you doing what hopefully you both love.  Somehow it never works out that way.  The dogs end up stuffed in a crate all day, surrounded by noises, other dogs, people and enough stimulus to send even the most well balanced person or dog into fits.  It was obvious this weekend that Phalen was not enjoying himself.  He is an active dog that is not used to extended crating and not playing ball several times a day for extended periods.  Every time I asked Phalen;"How is this for you Buddy?" the answer was the same "This blows Mom!".  Each time I tried to honor what he told me, took him out, played ball, walked him and tried to assure him that I would fix it in the future.  I felt the social pressure of one dog not competing being the difference between a major or not weighed heavily on me.

We have one Championship left to get.  Just his AWSA championship and he is just one major away from finishing it.  When it is done, I don't think we will be showing very often.  It's not active enough for Phalen or I anymore.  We are on to other things like tracking, rally, agility, obedience (although Phalen would vote for no obedience, it's not "fun" enough) and conformation is clearly going to take a back seat.  If I ever had a doubt, the fact that the first show on Saturday Phalen "tracked" his way through the ring removed any lingering doubt.  The look on his breeder's face when we came out of the ring was priceless.

We have a few big shows coming up and I need to decide how I want to handle it.  No doubt, I will alternately cuss and thank Suzanne for opening my eyes, and helping me to honor my dog. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

She's Human - and that's a good thing

I got an email from Suzanne Clothier today.  She and I have emailed back and forth about the June Trainer's Workshop and of course about Phalen.  When I saw the email today, I thought;" Hmm, I haven't emailed her about anything, it must be a seminar announcement".  I opened the email and it was in reference to my Sunday blog.  My first thought was; "How the hell does Suzanne know about my blog?" Why on earth would she be writing me about it?and finally "OMG Suzanne read my blog, crap!"  I had this hysterical picture in my mind of Suzanne cruising the internet and stumbling across it.  Turns out Pam sent it to her, to share with her, and Suzanne sent me a lovely note.

I have never made it a secret how much I admire Suzanne, I think she gets it right more often than anyone else I have come across.  I remember making a total fool of my self  at Wolf park the first time I met her and told her that at some point in the weekend I would probably squeal; "OH MY GOD IT'S SUZANNE CLOTHIER!!"  Quite honestly I think I frightened her and I can understand why.  How embarrassing!  I did exercise amazing self control and never once squealed in front of her.  She was perfectly normal, told me I was a fool if I didn't take Phalen and told me all of the guilt I had over Sheena and our journey was stupid and I needed to "just get over it".  Blunt, to the point, and always for the good of the dog, that's the Suzanne I know now, but not the one I had built up in my mind.  What a disservice we do to folks to put them on our artificially constructed  pedestal.

I've seen Suzanne speak a few times now.  She is never anything but herself.  Dresses casually,  occasionally forgets not to cuss, funny, irreverent and never have I seen her turn someone away, even when they are star struck and probably annoying as hell.  Her calm presence is disarming and for some of us it can be quite intimidating.  In the email today Suzanne asked if Pam and I would mind sharing what we are doing in our relationship class.  I was initially intimidated, but didn't shrink from the task.  The thought of Suzanne critiquing my curriculum a few months ago would have paralyzed me.  Today, I remembered that she is just a person.  A gifted one no doubt but I'm pretty sure her panties get bunched up just like the rest of ours.  So I shared with her what we are doing.  I look forward to hearing what she thinks, both good and bad.  Not because she is SUZANNE CLOTHIER OMG, but because she is a fellow traveler on the same journey..

I am thankful to Suzanne for so many things, think she is immensely gifted, and  beautifully human.  Flawed, succeeding in some endeavors, failing  in others and being brave enough to share it with all of us. So a huge thanks to Suzanne tonight for not being "SUZANNE CLOTHIER WORLD RENOWN TRAINER AND BEHAVIOR CONSULTANT" - but for just being Suzanne, fellow traveler. 








Tuesday, August 23, 2011

There is a better way

Ugh!  I was all set to post about how much I did not want to go back to the real world of not training full time and then I saw the most infuriating comment on FB!  A friend of mine who is struggling with her adolescent Shepherd boy put up an amazing post about her plan to help him at agility class.  She was going to totally take the pressure off of him and just click and treat for calm behavior if that is what he told her he needed.  A brilliant plan and good for her and for her dog!  Her breeder commented that if she would stop annoying him with the clicker he would stop acting out.  And then of course to not seem like a total ass, she ended the post with a smiley face.  Yes, a smiley face after a rude, hurtful comment always makes it better. 

Lest anyone think I am anti-breeder, nothing could be farther from the truth!  I love Phalen's breeder, many of my closest friends are breeders and have I always supported  good, responsible breeding.  Phalen will in fact be bred, so I am careful to cast any stones.  Not all breeders are created equal, which stands to reason, after all, they are human.  It is a huge responsibility bringing lives into this world.  Families trust that you are breeding good dogs and that you will stand behind them and with them while they grow and mature.  For the record, I feel the same about fostering.  Families trust that we have told them the truth and that we will be there to support them.  To not take responsibility, to not listen, to be so prideful that you can't see the dog for who he is is just shameful!

Dogs are fluid, they change as they should based on environment and also based on their genetics.  Do I think the perfect dog exists, heck no!  It would be so boring!  So then why on earth would anyone think that just because they bred a dog it is perfect?  Grr, I get more angry by the second!  Not only is this person so insecure that they can't admit that the dog is having issues, but then she attacks the very methods that have helped the dog to achieve any kind of balance.  What infuriates me the most is she knows how much work my friend has done and she went for the kill shot...thankfully my friend is strong and refuses to cave to her breeders archaic ideas.

Those of us of a certain age, came from compulsion based training.  We had no other choices.  I started there and quite honestly I was horrible at it.  I never had the heart to give a proper correction and as a result ended up doing more damage to my dog.  As soon as I was introduced to positive training the clouds opened up and the sun appeared.  It made sense to me, the cooperative work, the respect on both ends of the leash, it was what I had been looking for.  In the many years that positive training has been around, the studies back up the method.  There is no longer the excuse that it doesn't work, the proof is there in study after study, and in happy, successful dogs and owners.

When Phalen was having so many problems, my breeder was skeptical of the methods I chose.  When I broke up the dog fight and ended up with 12 staples in my head, I called her on the way to the hospital.  She took Phalen for me for a couple of weeks.  In that time, we had to some serious "come to Jesus" moments about his future and the methods we were going to use.  I remember her saying to me that I needed to be firmer with him and a better leader.  I laughed, I live with at least 6 dogs at all times and have had over 80 fosters.  You can't do that and stay safe and sane if you are not a good leader.  She had mistaken my kindness for weakness, as so often happens with people who are not familiar with positive training.  My breeder is kind both to people and animals.  I have great respect for her and while her methods are different, I trust completely that would never intentionally hurt a dog, that is why I trusted her to keep Phalen for me while we worked out a plan for him.  It has been lovely to see her embrace new ideas and techniques and Phalen's progress has spoken for itself.  She has been there and supported Phalen and I even when she didn't necessarily understand or agree with what I was doing.  I so want that experience for my friend.

I don't think my friend's breeder is a horrible person.  I just think she is at a place where learning has stopped and she is not open to embracing new ideas.  It actually makes me sad for her.  I never what to stop learning, experimenting, stretching to reach new heights, and feeling the indescribable joy that washes over you when you see the results.  My dogs, my clients and I deserve no less!

My friend is amazing and she and her boy will get through this and come out stronger for the journey.  Maybe my friend is the one who will show her breeder a better way and help this person get to a place where she can again embrace new ideas.  Maybe thanks to all of her hard work, she will make the lives of many dogs better just simply by being an example.  Knowing my friend, I would say the that's a given. 





Monday, August 22, 2011

Dogs don't know the formula

I got an interesting email yesterday asking for the formula for how long an owner should walk her puppy.  She was sure there was a formula for how far to walk them.  Bless her heart, I know that it was her attempt to do what was best for her puppy.  I advised her that I would be cautious of any formula and that I thought she should use this time to get to really know her puppy and let him tell her when it was long enough.  Really?  A formula?  It would depend on the individual dog, the climate, the terrain, the size of the dog, etc...It made me start to wonder how many people are so lost in the formulas that they miss the dog and who they are.

I am usually guilty of pushing too hard, and asking for too much too soon.  I struggle with it and now constantly ask my dog "how is this for you?"  It has stopped me from pushing too hard, unless that's what my dog wants to do.  I ask my students off and on through class to ask their dogs this question.  They are finally starting to get it, but it is a struggle for most of them.  Putting our ego aside, and "wasting" a training opportunity that you have paid for seems to go against our very nature.

There is no formula for my dogs.  When Phalen was a puppy everyone pushed me to ask more of him.  I insisted that he be allowed to be a puppy.  He has years to earn titles, etc...I am so thankful that I stuck to my guns.  My current foster Foxy is a great reminder that it has to be in their time, not mine and she did not get he "foster dog formula".  I'll take watching them unfold in their own time, at their own pace and like me, throwing the formula out the window and making our own unique concoction!



Sunday, August 21, 2011

Stepping off a Cliff

I am lucky....in so may ways.  I work at a training center that allows me to stretch my wings and fly.  Pam encourages me to step off the cliff of safety and she is right there next to me to take the fall.  Good or bad, she is willing to take the leap.  Continuing education, thinking outside the box, trying new things, these are the things that feed us, that fuel our creative juices and what keeps us in search of how to better meet the need of dogs and people.

Tonight we taught the final night of our relationship class.  The progress has been amazing in our students and tonight you could really see it! The students reported the difference for them and each one could see the difference and feel good about it.  We took a walk with the dogs in a big field.  Just the people and their dogs, no instructions, no guidance, just a walk.  Something so simple, no fancy handling skills required and it was beauty, poetry and a graceful dance that I will always be honored to have witnessed.  They got what we tried to teach, they really got it!  They honored their dogs and their dog honored them right back.  Little Troy was confident leading his mom through the field, Cynder was having fun, sniffing and being with her mom and Gibbs was in his full Lab glory, nose in the air and not even caring a bit that the other dogs were all around him.

Reactive class had me crying tears of joy.  I got to work with a Border Collie that was reported to be very people aggressive.  I love this dog and it takes all of my self control to not be able to touch him.  He and I are becoming friends, and tonight his Dad asked me if I would like to walk him.  Of course I said yes and it was amazing!  Watching his Dad go from being concerned to being so proud.  I actually had goose bumps when I handed the leash back to his Dad, actual goose bumps!  And my little Arrow, a puppy mill dog that was so scared the first week of class that he had to be carried in and out of the building.  He is being so brave and tonight he let me pet him.  Mom reports that he has only ever let her pet him.  Tears were flowing!  The Dane girls mom who finally saw her dog and was open to making the necessary changes needed to help her.


It was also the first night of Basic Manners Class.  The night where I get to meet the people without their dogs, and hopefully impart wisdom about the journey they are embarking on.  Since Pam and I are currently working on our own paradigm shift in training, it is bound to be reflected in our classes.  We have always been clicker and for the first time ever, this class will be without one, although I am totally open to the use by any of my students and may even suggest it if I think it will help the dog.  We introduced Suzanne Clothier's elemental questions and they were excited about the concept of training this way.  We had always assumed that "pet people" wouldn't be able to get he concept but you could watch them physically relax at the thought of building a mutual respectful relationship.

There is no training center around us that trains this way, that would be willing to throw out the tried and true to embrace a radical shift.  One that honors the dog and the person.  That strives for balance for the person and the dog and gives them permission to not be perfect, but instead to be themselves.  It's an exciting time!  I am forever grateful to be on this journey, at this time, at Planet Canine, with Pam by my side.  Boldly forging ahead and trusting that the path we are on is the right one, the one that leads to happy dogs and people.



Bratman

I live with a superhero.  Bratman the wonder dog.  Riley is our 11 year old White Shepherd/Lab mix.  I think he got more Lab than Shepherd.  He is Ron's dog and is very clear about that fact.  His whole world revolves around Ron and he will throw a fit if he can't be with him.  He loves me, but I have no doubt in my mind that his perfect world would be he and his dad living alone and wallowing in "man stuff".  I tell Ron all the time that everyone should be loved as much as Riley loves him.  It is an honor and a very sacred gift.

Riley came to us for evaluation because he was scheduled to be euthanized for aggressive behavior.  I didn't want to take him, I had recently euthanized two dogs for aggression and I was feeling like "Dr. Death".  I stand behind both decisions, but I was really looking for a nice easy foster dog that I could just have fun with.  Echo's president called and begged me to take Riley.  I've known Susan for years and consider her one of my best friends.  She does not cry easily and it was the first time I had ever heard her do it.  How do you say no to that?   I reluctantly agreed to take him, but didn't hold out much hope for an aggressive 7 year old.

I picked him up on his transport and was greeted by a big goof who had charmed everyone he met that day.  I  brought him home and Riley promptly got on my bed and when I asked him to get down he bared full teeth at me and gave a wicked growl.  I was initially shocked, but in less than 10 seconds could tell that it was a learned behavior and he was not willing to back it up.  I went and got a hot dog and offered it to him if he was willing to get off my bed.  He complied and so began our dance.  He latched on to Ron immediately and they were smitten with each other.

As time went on, I was sure that there was something wrong with him medically.  Things just didn't add up.  I took him in for tests and he was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease.  We chose not to treat it due to many factors, knowing that either way, we were signing his death warrant.   Shortly afterward he was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.  Ron and I have been married 26 years and I can count on one hand the number of times he was truly angry at me.  I came home from work one night to a very angry husband who accused me of being a liar.  Ron had decided that Riley was unadoptable and that he would stay with us.  Susan in the meantime had called and in trying to take the pressure off of Ron assured him that she would find Riley and adopter.  Needless to say we cleared it all up and we adopted Riley.  I think it is the perfect example of how much Ron and Riley love each other.  Ron and Riley even passed their CGC test a couple of years ago, they were so proud!  It was a long way from where we started.

Riley is funny, and the biggest brat I have ever met.  He barks and demands you wait on him, he has little tolerance for other dogs silliness, doesn't come when you call him, he grumbles like an old man, hates to have his toenails cut, and throws an unholy fit if he is not with his dad. That description begs the answer to why we love him so very much.  Despite all of that, he is funny, sweet, personable, in fact he is hands down everyone's favorite of my pack.  He is our comic relief when things get tough, gives the sweetest kisses ever and loves with his whole heart.  He reminds us that life is fragile, but that obstacles can be overcome and miracles happen everyday.  He was not expected to live more than a few months and almost 5 years later, he is going strong.  We have provided alternative treatments for his conditions and he is doing great!   Riley has taught us to not take even a moment for granted, that life is about quality, not quantity.

I am thankful for my big Bubba, my Bratman.  I need to make him a costume and take a photo of him wearing it.  Today I celebrate my Bratman and every other Bratman out there.  They bring a joy to our lives like no other and every time I look into that sweet silly face, my heart skips a beat and almost bursts from the love that wells up.  I love you Bubba!  Thanks for reminding me to love with my whole heart and never take life too seriously!




 





Friday, August 19, 2011

Introduction

I have decided that I can no longer torture my Facebook friends with my every thought on dog training.  I need a place to get it all out.  I don't even really care if anyone reads it, I just need to do it!  My mind swims with discoveries and thoughts at all times.  Living with at least 6 dogs at all times doesn't help my mind to slow.  They are fascinating to me, their every move, their play, their interactions with each other and with my husband and I.  I get lost in their complexities, I marvel at their language and I bask in the glow of their love.

My journey has been and will continue to be understanding how I can better communicate with my dogs. Can I learn to really understand what they are saying, what they need and what they want and then convert it all in my mind in a meaningful way.  That's the hard part, converting it in a meaningful way that honors them, meets them where they are today in this moment and still looks toward the future.  At times, I feel sorry for them. To be under the scrutiny of me trying to figure out their every move and invariably failing at times. Other times I rock at it, and hopefully those times are more often than not understanding.

My dogs range in age from 11 years to 2 years.  Living with so many dogs of varying ages allows me to see the changes that occur with age (both good and bad) and when my 2 year olds are driving me nuts, I can look at my older dogs and see hope for the future.  Five of the dogs are mine, White Shepherd or White Shepherd mixes and we are a motley crew. We also are foster parents for Echo Dogs White Shepherd Rescue.  It was never our plan to have this many dogs, it just kind of happened. We our currently on foster dog number 82 and they have taught me so much.

My own Wolfie, the love of my life and the other half of my soul started the interest in training.  We adopted him from our local shelter and he had been so badly abused that he wanted no human contact.  For weeks he just laid between my bed and the wall and hoped we would go away.  I would lasso him to take him out to go potty.  I would sit on the floor and talk to him, never touching just looking into his beautiful eyes and praying that I could help him.  My prayers were answered when I found Echo Dogs on the web.  I was desperate and figured they had to know more about him than I did.  So began our journey.  It is long and filled with tiny baby steps that led us to our goal of a lovely dog that loves life.  I love all of my dogs, but there is something special with Wolf, an unspoken force that binds our hearts to each other and has a language all of it's own.

You'll meet my other dogs in time, they are all unique and fabulous in their own way.  Each appreciated and loved for what they bring to our family to make it whole.  For today, it's just enough to have a place to share my thoughts, my ideas and my love for dogs.